the truthe is...

I am sooooooooooooooooooooo over guys... common theme to all girls lives.

I have recently been a bit of a bad girl and have been dating a couple of different guys. Which frankly, is very difficult to do in a small town when everyone seems to know everyone and everyone's business. However, I did manage to keep my sneaky boy activities under wraps. BUT, recently, I went from stringing a long 3 males to 0: I guess that is karma for you.

Part of this is, was and still is, my fear to commit. I don't want to commit. Commitment scares me. So dating different people keeps options open. Plus, the next person you date should always be a step up from your previous person; never date under. Unfortunately I am starting to realize I sort of want to commit. I like love. I love love. I WANT TO BE IN LOVE MODE.. well not so much... maybe more of a just a hint of love mode can sparkle down onto my life.

HERE IS MY ISSUE THOUGH:

I think we all have a certain type of person we are attracted to. Mine=ASSHOLES. I love them. They are my male weakness. Frankly it doesn't matter what form they come in, as long as they are an asshole--I fall for them and usually hard. And assholes will fuck you over EVERYTIME... in theory ( I am still hoping my magic Asshole is out there somewhere who will be my desired match)

I suppose you can argue the point that all GUYS ARE ASSHOLES. However they aren't, there are nice ones. The nice ones bore me (yawn). I recently dated a nice guy (he was one of the 3) but I couldn't bring myself to like like him. HE WAS A NICE GUY and also a HORRIBLE KISSER*

I thought I found a nice one (who didn't make me want to stab myself in my eye), which was a nice change from my usual scattered dating history. However, his true asshole self came out and it sucks to be strung along. In particular, when they want to continue to string you along until something better pops up. SO CUT. GOOD-BYE.

I made a promise to myself probably 6 months ago that I would never ever let a guy walk all over me or manipulate me again. I hate breaking promises (it makes you look a shitty person) and the last person one should ever let down, is themselves.

* I think it was more the fact that he was a horrible kisser. I would try to avoid kissing. I did all the moves; the head turn, berrying your own head in his neck, pulling away, etc, etc etc. It's just not good when your teeth smack on more then one occasion.